tony robbins sunglasses

Breaking News – Austin, TX  All early signs predicted that Joey Votto would have a break-out season in the CBL.  He had a disappointing year last year with a pedestrian slash of .259/.384/.396.  Thinking of himself as an “elite” player of the CBL, he was quoted at the end of last season tell the press, “This just isn’t acceptable”.

In this year’s spring training, Votto was swinging the bat he expected and ended the spring with a .313/.410/.547 slash….then opening day happened and Joey’s bat has disappeared.  He has been working extensively with the hitting staff, but that just isn’t resulting in hits.

Drastic situations require drastic measures…and a call to the “self help” bullpen has been made.  Famous self help coach and motivational speaker, Tony Robbins was seen coming out of the Bats locker room earlier this morning.  Unfortunately Tony wouldn’t agree to an interview, but as he entered his limosine told the press…”expect to see Votto and the Bats with a new mindset and increased success”.  Only time will tell.


Trey Schalk


General Manager - Austin Bats


  • Tim Imasa

    Tim Imasa, November 5, 2014 @ 8:06 pm

    HAHAHAHA! This made my day! Tony Robbins! 🙂

    If Votto batted .300 next week, please give me Tony Robbins’ cell number please!

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    Steve Meyers, November 5, 2014 @ 8:23 pm

    Joey….some free advice…’see the ball, hit the ball’.

    Almost fact: no where to go but up!

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    Richie Ho, November 7, 2014 @ 7:42 am

    Umm, Tony Robbins got sued for brainwashing some horde of people that they could actually walk over a bed of hot coals. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

  • Trey Schalk

    Trey Schalk, November 7, 2014 @ 2:59 pm

    Uhh…why do you think the Bats organization hired him? If he can get people to walk over hot coals, then it should be a snap to get Votto to bat .300!!

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