Vancouver, ColdAsFuck – The Vancouver Canadians are on the verge of their fourth division title in six seasons and what will be their sixth straight playoff appearance. The Canadians have one Tim Imasa trophy in their trophy case from their 2021 championship. Rumors persist several GMs watched the Canadians lose their first series that year, before waking up and being told that never happened. Nobody’s quite sure what happened that fateful evening.

To celebrate the greatness that is Vancouver, we’ve sat down with GM Dan Courakhfdkjafljd to have him tell us how great his team is.

Interviewer: Hi Dan —

DC: “VANCOUVER GOOD. SAN DIEGO BAD. EH?”

Interviewer: Uhh, sure. So, you have put together a great pitching staff. and you’re well on your way to another division title. Who deserves the most credit on your team?

DC: “ME. AND ME LOVE JOSE FERNANDEZ. EH.”

I: Don’t you think your team has been helped by playing two terrible teams quite a bit every season, in Minneapolis and Tuscon?

DC: “EH.”

I: Thanks for your time Dan.

DC: “DARK SOULS II TIME”

[Editor’s Note: We could not confirm the person we interviewed was actually the GM of the Vancouver Canadians. It may have just been Ted Cruz, everyone born in Canada is the same]

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Erik Voldness

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General Manager - Minneapolis Millers

2 Comments

  • Tim Imasa

    Tim Imasa, January 10, 2017 @ 4:52 pm

    Erik must be smoking some good shit right now. haha! I love the Onion – CBL version though. We need more of these!

  • Dan Courcelles

    Dan Courcelles, January 10, 2017 @ 8:10 pm

    Hilarious article. I will officially quote “Vancouver good, San Diego Bad.”. I agree with Tim. We need more of these!!

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